Monthly Archives: March 2016

The Rewards of Risk

Can it be? Can I have closed my computer and fallen into some Rip Van Winkle time warp only to open it again and find that 8 months have gone by?

When I broke up with my ex, this lovely writing outlet was my lifeline. It reminded me of my inner strength and so began the process of pulling myself out of the deep dark place I had fallen into. I found such beautiful company through the readers of this blog and letsmend.com, where my blog was syndicated. And as I started to heal and gain strength I began to stretch my legs a little. To take more risks. To get out more.

I had let myself do the work of grieving. I went to the places that were familiar and maybe still a little tender from previous relationships and really looked at them. I cried. Walked until the sun went down. Sat in coffee shops alone. Met new people and explored new places. And eventually returned to the woman I had lost in trying to save a relationship that was never meant to be saved. I had arrived at the very best version of myself. And so, having labored to rediscover her, I was not interested or willing to lose her again.

But then enter, D. A wild and unpredictable philosopher with a gentle spirit and captivating smile. I tried to back away slowly, to keep a distance that would prevent another broken heart. But it was no use. He was persistent, even when I told him my story. Even when he knew that my heart wasn’t all the way healed.

In the beginning, I had to come to terms with how scary the prospect of loving again was. How dangerous it felt to risk that, after I no longer felt so shattered. But the decision wasn’t a hard one. I decided to be brave. I chose love.

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