After three weeks of panic, endless craigslist checking and visiting dark, carpeted studios that were out of my price range, I found a place! And I still don’t quite understand it. It is lovely, with hardwood floors and a view of the lake, a full 1-bedroom and about $600 below market price. It is everything that I had written on my “dream apt” list several weeks ago (absent a washer and dryer, but I can handle that). It is far better than the place that was offered to someone else on my birthday.
For the past few weeks I have been repeating this mantra incessantly and come to rely on it for reassurance and emotional soothing, “what is meant for you will never miss you and what misses you was never meant for you.” When I went to the open house for my current apartment, surrounded by about 30 adults of a similar demographic and my first inclination was to bolt, I stayed and filled out an application and repeated in my head “what is meant for you will never miss you. What is meant for you will never miss you…” It turns out this apartment was meant for me.
And so I moved this weekend. I signed the lease one week ago and spent last week packing- a process that has never felt so heavy hearted and sad. The apartment hunt has both humbled me and filled me to the brim with gratitude. The lesson I take away is this: In the darkest places, we have to allow the faith that things will unfold perfectly to create a glow bright enough to lead us out.